Education Fail

so i'm planning on going back to college in the fall.
i fill out a FAFSA.

all well and good, yeah?

i always get "randomly" picked for their stupid verification shit(like i would lie, even to a machine that would never know any better[the gods know i can't. i'm too fucking honest, and they don't believe that someone can be so poor.].)!

so i send off the form with all the info asked(at least, i thought it was all filled out.).
about 2 weeks later, i get another one. no note, no nothing. just another verification form.
so i email the financial aid office:

hi,
i received a 2009-2010 verification worksheet in the mail today, and i was wondering why?
i got one last month, filled it out, attached the requested information, and i sent it back.
why do i need to do another?
if you didn't receive the first one, i will be happy to send this one back completed with attachments, no problem.
if you need to look me up:
(my name here)
student ID is (a bunch of numbers that you aren't seeing)

i thought it was well worded, professional, totally not whiney in any way, just a little confused.
3 days later, from the financial aid office:

Dear student your varification Work sheet is incomplete needs parental and Head of House information.

that is copy + pasted directly from the email they sent back.
first of all. first of all. VERification. not VARification.
secondly: Dear student (COMMA GOES HERE, WITH A CARRIAGE RETURN, you 'tards.)
third: capitalize your. first word in the body of the letter gets a capital letter.
4th, "varification Work sheet"? can we try "Verification Worksheet"?
5th, COMMA BETWEEN INCOMPLETE AND NEEDS, you 'tards.
6th, no closing. no thanks for asking, no we appreciate the inquiry, no thanks for trying to be a responsible college student, we don't get enough of those here. no nothing.

so, i wrote back:

thanks for the response.
the incomplete one was returned to me the day after i got the new one. so i finished it and sent it back.
thanks again

i did NOT write:

p.s., your response was so badly worded that i am left to wonder if the staff in the financial aid office even got past middle school. judging by the 6" fake nails that 3 of the 5 clerks were wearing the last time i was there, i'd have to say that at the very least, their maturity level didn't get past 8th grade (also, the general rudeness there is about on par with an exasperated 8th grader). perhaps next time someone needs a response to an email, you could use the spelling and grammar check that is standard on all email systems that are out of beta testing, (except, obviously, yours) before you hit send.


i can understand why the person didn't bother to sign it, it's so badly written that it's personally embarrassing (for ME! and i don't even know them[that's when you know it's bad.].). we won't even get into the fact that the blank one got to me (as in, it was sent out to me) BEFORE they decided to send the old one back to me, with the missing part highlighted in pink.

and so i make a plea:

if you work at a college, and you email back and forth with students, please, for the love of all things holy, sacred, and pure, USE THE FUCKING SPELLING AND GRAMMAR CHECK BEFORE YOU HIT 'SEND' YOU FUCKTARDS.

--yobo

STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!!!

this is mean and hurty. >:O
why do you have to be like this?
i like you, please stop.
it hurts when you act like this because sometimes you say things i agree with but haven't said or won't say myself.
if you're tired of the highschool shit that goes on, then STOP PERPETUATING IT.

for fuck's sake, are we 12 again? because all these stoopid little "wars" remind me of my little sister and her So-Called friends. did someone hit you? repeatedly? about the head and shoulders with something blunt? when you were a child? just to make sure you'd be the biggest bitch on earth? way to show your true colors to someone who thought that YOU WERE NICE, YOU FUCKING BITCHY LITTLE ASSHOLE.

i never did anything to you, and neither did they. please stop being such a BITCH ALREADY!
no really stop. it hurts. a lot more than it should. and i don't know why i even care, but i do.
so please stop hurting me and those i care for.

please stop being mean and hurty to me. i had enough of that in highschool, and you're making me feel like that all over again.
this isn't fair, i liked you, you fucktard. why are you making me hate you now?

mean and hurty, that's your new name.

mean and hurty. >:O

WHY???

Why did y'all take what she was saying as a personal attack?
I was in that thread too, and i didn't feel she was attacking the fact that i don't shave every damn day. she does, and that's fine. yes, she said women who don't are skeery liberals with tufts of hair sticking out everywhere, but she was EXAGGERATING.
EXAGGERATION: To represent as greater than is actually the case; overstate. To enlarge or increase to an abnormal degree. To make overstatements.
i know you know this word, as i've seen you all use it before. correctly. in a sentence that was grammatically correct.

here's the thing:
she wasn't attacking you.
she is following the rules of debate. where you try to convince the other side that you are right and they are wrong (? you know these rules, yes?[or you've at least heard of them?]). she's using silly and totally irrelevant and non-pertinent examples because it's a silly topic to talk about. some of the things she says, she actually believes, yes. some, not so much.
calm the fuck down.
she wasn't attacking you. if she was, she'd use better examples. she'd do things like, oh idunno, NOT CALL POLITICAL AFFILIATIONS INTO THINGS. also, she'd be using her rather sizable vocabulary.

so here's this thing i want to say:
shut the fuck up and calm the fuck down. it's a fucking thread about fucking shaving preferences. SHE was not the one who turned it into a debate. that was way back in the beginning pages. she just weighed in. aaaand got attacked for her views. so stop it. there IS such a thing as TURNING THE FUCKING INTERNETS OFF. or, you know, NOT GOING BACK INTO THE THREADS THAT PERSONALLY BOTHER YOU, YOU FUCKING TOSSER.

put your big girl panties on, and get that stick out of your ass. apparently, it is needed elsewhere.

--yobo

i would like to thank whoever it is that has burned popcorn

in one of the café microwaves the past 2 days........
for causing me blinding migraines.

no really, i'd like to shake your hand (if i could see it).
so that i can break it off and shove it up your ass.

it's really not that hard to not burn it.
i know the microwaves are all about as old as my little sister (13), but what i'd like you to know is this:

first, that smell makes me physically ill. i tend to dry heave if i smell it (no really, i do).
second (and more importantly), burned popcorn smell is one of my migraine triggers, and the only meds i have here are Excedrin Migraine pills. i don't have any Rx meds because i didn't have insurance for most of the past 2.5 years.
and i have chronic migraines. that? is not healthy in the least.
i can't even remember the last day i didn't have at least a low-grade rebound headache.
do you know what those are? do you? have you ever had one?
it's like a sleep hangover, only worse, because it's caused by the meds that i took to cure the migraine that i had the day before.

your burning popcorn for the past 2 days in a row does not help me at all. i drove home last night with a blinding migraine.
it was snow-y, icy, cold, and generally unpleasant to drive in. plus, i went to the post office to mail something out before i went home.
it's really quite hard to operate both my sister's car and the automated post office machine at 930p with a blinding migraine.
i'm glad no one saw me or pulled me over, because when i got home and looked in the mirror, my left pupil was dialated. my right was not.
that's happened before, so i took some more Excedrin, plus some regular aspirin, and used some eyedrops that i have in my room. i have no clue where i got these drops, but they're just regular ones (i think. as far as i know, anyway.).
they help my eyes go back to normal when that happens.

i also went to bed a bit earlier than i might have, (and slept like a friggin' kitten. on speed [i.e. i DIDN'T SLEEP MUCH AT ALL.].) and i am now at work. it is 2 oh 6 pee em, and i am seeing those lovely dark floaties that i get just before i have another blinding migraine.

i just want you to know:
i fucking hate your guts, whoever you are.

no love,
yobo
*.*-p

To my Lovely coworkers -

while i understand that celebrating birthdays and holidays and stuff is important, i would like you all to keep something in mind:

i do not carry cash. like, ever. if i have cash? it's about to be spent.

do not ask me the day before you plan on going to get some kind of gift if i have $5 to contribute.

the answer will be no.

i do not carry cash.

you want cash from me, you gotta give at least 2 days warning. as in it's monday and you say "so i'm gonna go get so-and-so's gift/giftcard on wednesday during lunch, can you give 5.00 wednesday morning to help out?" at that point, the answer will be "oh, sure, i'll stop off at the bank on the way home tonite, no problem."

it's not that i don't want to help you pay for a coworker's gift, it's that i can't afford it on as regular a basis as y'all seem to like to give each other shit.

what i'm saying here is: there aren't that many people in this department.
why the hell are y'all in perpetual need of 5.00 to get someone a fuggin' GIFT?!

are you spending that cash of booze and hookers? those are some seriously cheap ladies of the evening if so. you should save up and upgrade. more expensive generally means less diseases and more class.

i'm just sayin', i don't carry cash. ever.
least of all to work for gifts.
it's the snack machine's fault, if you want something to blame.
if i had money in my wallet, it would be in the snack machine, and i would weigh about a bazillion pounds.

Circumstances:

so...... i missed a team meeting at work last week. there were Car Issues* that were being dealt with. they talked about regular team meeting stuffs, and my boss put the meeting minutes on my desk.

all well and good, yes?

well, apparantly, she forgot to put something in those minutes, because just before V. left work last night, we were talking, and she mentioned dusting off her resume (she's having issue with HR over a health problem). i was like wtf? and she said that:

in the last team meeting (the one i missed), that our boss said that we *might* be losing our jobs in the new year.

apparantly, there's another vendor that they might be going with to do the ES's job. they were apparantly like "we aren't firing you, but it wouldn't hurt to look for something else......."

i would like to point out at this time:
q-(O)_(O)-p

also:
q-*.*-p

and:
=(>_)>

you'd think that they could have put that in the meeting minutes, or you know, TOLD ME FACE TO FACE about that. holy freeking baby jesus inna basket! that's kind of important. i would think that would rate at least a bullet point.
..............................................
.........................................
....................................
.........................................
..............................................
of course, V. is taking about 6 different meds right now, including but not limited to:
percocet, darvocet, morphine, codine, and other schedule 3 narcotics for pain.

so, she may well have imagined all that.


*is very worried* <*m*> <--worried face

*Car Issues: yatsu hurt her car, and daddy's car is older than moses and is brokened, so for about a week, we were down 1.5 cars. yatsu thought she left her keys so that i could take hers, as it couldn't go on highway and she needed it to get from school to work (so she took mine). her keys were MIA, and she was taking a final. i gave up and called in sick. so i missed the meeting. =(>_)>

--yobo

paid FOR and sponsored BY,

not 'paid and sponsored for by...'
omg. murder WILL BE COMMITTED.

thank the GODS that i have 5 days off. i would just kill myself otherwise.

you would think that a woman your age would know how to speak.

apparantly i am an eternal optimist though, because YOU CAN'T SPEAK FOR SHIT! how did you get this job?!

good lordy lord you make me want to be an english teacher.